DOPAMINE PIGS

Sniff around

In the solitude

Feeling

Permanently depleted

Fighting it

 

Tactically agile

Get a bit

 

High and

Pleasure

Evaporates

 

Back

To the sniff

 

I try

To take away

His bit 

For a tactical supply 

 

He tactically

Retracts

 

I fall

Sadly

Into the

Lotus field

 

 

 

SUB

Servant

Sad slave

Too sub to try

You feed the bomb

Like a middle child

A mass of secondary genes

Observing behind the perspex

In comfort

Planted

Fuckless

 

In comfort

Planted

Fuckless

 

 

 

AIRBORNE

We went too far 

Now we are nothing again 

I feel peace 

 

Fragments in the air 

After a car bomb 

The sudden clarity 

 

Watching my illusions 

Of you

Try to stay airborne 

Try against decimation 

 

The fade is

Brighter than 

Your bloom 

 

 

 

TWO

I was falling

You were too

 

Too similar

Our armour

 

Too weird

Your head

 

Took two years

To be strangers

 

For two years

I felt vital

 

On a pedestal

Holding you up

 

 

 

ROMEO

Under my lashes

Flashes of the male body

And consciousness

 

Every free thought

An excuse to break

 

Down in the void

There is a place

Beyond ideation

 

We fucked

Out of our heads

 

You put a hole in me

You ruin 

 

I know you'll fail

My only consolation

 

 

 

MY IDOL

Crashed through the wall 

In fetish

 

Sprawled himself

An ecosystem

 

I tattooed his inner thighs

In soft, living words

 

High breath

Psalms of throat lace

 

Early love split out

An adoral vortex

 

Until his thighs

Were white

Nympholeptic

 

A girl's offering

Words of ego

 

A laboured, inflated

Lazy thing

 

Novelty warrior

One layer

 

I gave him might

And conquest

He never had

 

 

 

POST-DESIRE

Dry flowers

And shrapnel

 

In my veil

 

And you

Boneless

Anaemic

Gone fetid

 

 

 

IN NEGATIVE 

The plot spreads before me 

In negative 

 

There's no estimating the distance

Between one love and the next 

The length of suspension 

 

Between pain-breeder and pain-breeder  

Me

 

Masturbating—palliatively

Making the eggs

Bending my sickness

The saccharine will

 

 

 

MALE PAIN FIXATION

The foreign body

Evasive, the grail 

 

What exactly

Is my extent? 

 

A groin pain

Dull, fear of loss?

 

An industrial sound

Machine under stress?

 

Trapped in a building 

Built by other men?

 

Is it a slit 

Almost feminine? 

 

As beautiful 

As the break in his voicebox? 

 

Does it ossify 

Make him feel old? 

 

Did it evaporate 

A cumshot?

 

 

 

THERE IS NO WORD

In English

For the body scream

The howling bitch

Of private love pain

The subterranean

Primeval non-sound

The wretched litanies

Of existence